It’s been awhile since I’ve written a post. Not because my life isn’t a steady storm of shit, but I really haven’t had any free time to even finish my 17 loads of laundry, much less write about my ridiculous life. Luckily my MIL visited a few weeks ago and did 47 loads of laundry, folded it all and placed in organized piles on our bed. I’ve never felt so pampered. She even cooked us a few meals and let us go shopping without kids. It was a freakin mini vacation!
Trigger has been saying some hilarious stuff lately. Today he grabbed grapes from the fridge and told me he just went “trick or treating”.
A few days ago we are driving to school and he said: “Mama, you need to be careful driving in your car”. Ummm, yeah I know there’s some precious cargo in my backseat, sweet thing! He’s also been telling me that he’s “exhausted” and that “horses are beautiful”. Sometimes he will just out of the blue start laughing and say, “Mama, I’m funny”. He makes me laugh!!! But today, I was not laughing one little bit…
I’ve been dealing with dental issues the past few weeks. Apparently my 14 year old crown cracked awhile ago and I’ve been having some sensitivity. So two weeks ago I had my crown replaced. And I thought I was done. But this past weekend I experienced horrible shooting pains and turns out I needed an emergency root canal. The only office that could get me in was 50 minutes away. So I drive over to Des Moines and spend 2.5 hours with my jaw wide open. And the edodondist broke my brand new crown. So they scheduled me the afternoon to get back to my dentist so I could get a new crown on. Holy hell. Another 2.5 hours with my mouth wide open. So sore. And thankfully I had friends and emergency babysitters that were able to watch the boys.
And so, this morning I needed to spend some time working on the computer. I fed the boys and put on some Nick Jr to entertain the littles for 30 minutes.
Work has been really awesome and our business is growing. That also means I’m working 30-50 hours a week and taking business trips out of town, while I try to manage a wild ginger baby and a re-donk-u-lous 2.5 year old.
And so, I’m working and chatting with a customer about her upcoming party and ordering new goodies for the store. Trigger and Blaze always love coming to visit me at the computer while I work. This time Trigger proudly announces that he went poop! He’s been potty trained at home for weeks and he’s so proud of anything he does in the bathroom. Awesome, lets go back in bathroom and wipe that bum. But Blaze doesn’t look right. His legs are covered in something and his hands are full of that something as well…. yup, Trigger’s POOP! He had fingerpainted his body with Trigger’s crap. And Trigger’s crap did not make it in the toilet, it conveniently was dropped right in middle of the living room and then stepped in by one of the monkeys.
So there I am scrubbing shit on the floor, wiping toddler’s dingle berries before he jumps on every ride-on toy, and gagging while I give an emergency sink bath to this dirty little ginger baby, who now thinks everything is hilarious and is laughing over my disgust.
So, I’m really not sure what has been worse: the shit show of my offspring or the emergency dental work that kept my mouth open for 6 hours. But if you plan on stopping by to visit this week I’ll take some soup, Clorox wipes and a bottle of the finest $10 bottle of Pinot. And excuse me while I go plan a freakin vacation to Vegas while a Grandma watches the monsters!